To Bet My Bottom Dollar

After the several days English writing I really find it lack of strength about it. Sometimes there is something in my mind, but I just cannot write it down exactly as what I think. However, I can do that in Chinese, even though the diction may be not delicate enough. And that kind of disability feeling really drives me crazy.

Today is the first day after the three-day Mid-Autumn Festival holiday. So we all have to get on the track of busy life again and waiting for the coming National Day, except me. I was surprised to think about that I have to buy the ticket to Jinan at 17th this month, i.e. four days later. This means that there is only two weeks before the TOEFL test at 28th September. And I really feel nervous because I don’t think I’m ready enough for it.

Today I heard that the privilege of graduate apply is coming. I feel confused about it. Actually I don’t think it a pity for giving it up, but I will feel pity if I lose the opportunity and fail to study abroad. And I think the main problem I confront right now is obvious, TOEFL. All of the apply materials, only the score of TOEFL has the space to be promoted. And by the way I think it’s a little ridiculous to describe it as the space to be promoted because the score of 83 is unavailable at all. So I would rather say of all the apply materials only TOEFL is unavailable which I never put my concern into it. TOEFL may accelerate me to apply a university which ranks high or forestall me on the road abroad, and what’s worse is that I already give up the privilege of graduate yet. So then I will have nothing.

However, all of the tough things I confront depend on my willpower. I’m really an incurable man and I even cannot stand myself anymore. Fuck me!

This noon mass organizations recruit new members on the Summer Square. There were crowd of people there, and I guess most of them were freshmen. People there were curious about everything. They looked around and receiving fly sheets from every organization. I thought I saw a younger me three years ago. Three years passed in the blink of an eye.

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